misery

Misery Loves Company

Lots of people live wonderful lives. They pick everyone up and evoke smiles everywhere they go.

Many others do the opposite.

People will always be dragging you down if you let them. A great number of people lead miserable lives, and they will try to bring others down to feel better about themselves.

In their eyes, their lives are no longer miserable if other people are miserable as well. They no longer have to call themselves failures because everyone else has failed, too.

But it’s this comparison that is the problem. If you had no benchmark to compare yourself, how would you know if you succeeded or failed?

The only way you could determine this is by your own definitions. You would get to determine whether or not you succeeded or failed.

Success is personal

In the eyes of an entrepreneur, success is a thriving business. In the eyes of a mother, success is raising and providing for her children. These two definitions may clash with each other, but that’s okay. It doesn’t matter. What drives you might sound repulsive to another person. Who cares?

When you live your life based on other people’s definition of success, you’re going to fail. You can’t please all the people all the time. Someone will see you as a failure. The sooner you can accept that, the sooner you can be a success.

Because they don’t live your life. Only you do. No one knows you more than you know yourself. Your deepest desires should be the only thing that drives you.

My version of success

For me, success is freedom and peace. I’m the kind of person that gets bored very easily. This is the 38th post on my website, and I’m kind of amazed that I made it this far. And since I have this tendency to bounce from hobby to hobby, interest to interest, the most important thing in the world to me is the ability to choose.

If I wake up one day with the burning desire to skydive, I want to be able to do that. If I get the urge to India, I want to be able to do that. I’ve done many things in my life, and I want to do much, much more.

That’s why I want to be rich. When you have enough money, you get to choose what you do with your time. You don’t have to answer to anyone. Want to live in Stockholm for a year? When you’re rich, you can do that immediately.

That’s not to say that you won’t have obligations. If you have a wife and kids, their desires and happiness also play a factor into it.

But they are only a factor in your life because you made a decision to include them in your life. When you’re rich, the only people that have a say in your life are the ones you choose.

The idea of freedom sparked my interest in fitness as well. Fitness is one of the greatest sources of freedom. It’s freedom of the body. When you become strong and flexible, your opportunities increase exponentially. If you’re interested in hiking, but can’t get off the couch, you can kiss that dream goodbye. If you want to go rock climbing, but can’t do a pull-up, it’s going to be very difficult for you.

I’m not remotely fit enough, but I finally understand why someone would want to be ultra-fit. Money can open many doors, but not all of them. Fitness opens many doors that money cannot.

But being successful isn’t without it’s downfall. The phrase “misery loves company” has an opposite.

Being successful is lonely

When you get your shit together, you will lose the friends that are stuck in the same old ways. You’ll lose track of those people that you used to hang out with. Being successful means changing yourself. You will no longer be the same person, and you won’t have the same desires as you used to.

That’s okay. People grow and change, and their desires and actions change, too. When you grow, your priorities shift.

It’s up to you to decide what is important to you.

Miserable people will always be gravitated towards miserable people. You can break free of this curse, and be a success for yourself. There are successful people out there that will love who you’ve become. Be successful and find them.

Only then when you’ve made up your mind on what you want to do can you truly become who you want to be. If you want to get rich and be free, make as much money as you can, keep your expenses low, and invest as much as possible. If you want to be fit, start working out today–even if it’s just a few push-ups or squats.

You may lose some friends along the way, but that’s alright. If they’re not growing and changing with you, they run the risk of losing you as a friend. Don’t fault yourself for wanting to improve. Find the people that want to help you along the way.

Thanks for reading!

Featured photo source: Annie Spratt on Unsplash

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